Matsuda makes another mistake
by AlecBrimstone5381
Summary: Matsuda had honestly no idea how it had started. One second he had been diligently filing case reports into their specified drawers, and the next… well. He hoped not to make a habit of absentmindedly fantasizing about his co-workers.
1. Chapter 1

Matsuda had honestly no idea how it had started. One second he had been diligently filing case reports into their specified drawers, and the next… well. He hoped not to make a habit of absentmindedly fantasizing about his co-workers.

The office was clearing steadily as the minutes ticked on: not that there were many people in the room to begin with. The case was taking its toll on everyone, and with limited support, the Japanese police force could only achieve so much between them. Matsuda let out a weary sigh as he watched Aizawa, then Soichiro and finally Mogi and Ide leave through the front doors. He waved them goodbye half-heartedly, then slumped back down into his swivel chair, picked up some papers and began to flip through them.

"Staying late Matsuda?"

"Huh?" He jumped involuntarily, and tried not to let it show. That would be embarrassing…

"That's most unlike you," Light chuckled back. "But I can't deny that we need all the help we can get in times like these…"

Matsuda murmured an agreement. What with the new developments with Lady Takada, light's frequent visits to gain information, and the tension with the SPK, the stress and the workload had been piling up; not only did the team need to record and work on current issues, but constant reports needed to be added to the death list, and other mundane chores.

Mundane… ha. That was a little funny, since, some years ago, the mere thought of listing the ever growing murders would be horrific.

The really funny thing though, was that these thoughts, although significant, were currently the most fleeting thing on Matsuda's mind. Sure, the world as he knew it was ending, and he could die at any second, but Matsuda was more concerned that he was sitting alone in a room with Light Yagami. Alone. Did he mention that?

He snuck a glance to his right; Light was staring fiercely at a computer screen, eyes lit up in what could only be described as pure passion for what he did. Matsuda had always admired Light for his dedication and intelligence when it came to his work, but now, as he sat shamelessly gawking across the room, he feared it might have developed into a little more.

Light was definitely good-looking. Anyone could agree on that, with his chocolate brown hair and pretty almond shaped eyes, and perfect physique, and as the genius squinted rather attractively at the screen, Matsuda could no longer deny that he had a slight crush on the man.

It was an impossible dilemma, and one that could not be ignored. For one, Light was at least 6 years younger than him, not to mention his father worked with the both of them, and that Light was insanely out of his league. Oh- and the very obvious fact that neither of the two were women. It would be incredibly difficult to achieve a very, very gay relationship without a ton of negative effects cropping up because of it.

Matsuda used to have a crush on Sayu Yagami, Light's little sister, so he supposed this whole 'liking guys' thing was a new one. Then again, maybe it wasn't, and he'd always liked Light without realising, subconsciously focusing his attentions on the similar looking sister, for lack of a better explanation. It didn't really matter anymore anyway.

Light looked incredibly attractive in his suit.

Damn. That just slipped into his head.

So he was now gay. Or at least slightly gay. Somehow the idea didn't shock him as much as it probably should have done.

He went back to fiddling with his pens, attempting to focus on the lists, but all he could think about was Light, and Light's hair and Light's mouth and should he start a conversation with Light? Would that be weird?

His hands were a little sweaty with nerves, but also cold, as the air-conditioning was turned up too high. He stole another glance across the desks, and to his horror, found Light's eyes glued right back at him.

They were both frozen, staring at each other. Light in his usual unreadable, nonchalant manner, and Matsuda severely praying that his heart didn't dive out of his throat. After several excruciating seconds of what Matsuda liked to call 'Dead-brain', he suddenly realised that he could still play this off as an awkward coincidence. He attempted a cough, and spun quickly back around, breaking the eye contact.

He thought he'd gotten away with it as well, until Light spoke.

"Are you sure that you're alright with staying later, Matsuda?" Oh, his voice was so silky soft, and all Matsuda wanted was to sit back and listen. He choked out a reply, (his voice came out sounding a little too high pitched for his liking…)

"No, it's fine! I just need to check out, uh, to check these names anyway so, y'know, thanks for your concern and all… I. Uh. Yes." His face burned with embarrassment.

There was a pause as if the other was thinking, then Light spoke,

"You may not always believe it, Matsuda, but you are a very valuable member of this team," Matsuda's pulse quickened at the compliment; nobody on the police force had ever complimented him for his work here, and now, right after he'd finally realised his feelings… "I admire your enthusiasm," Light said, "And your upstanding encouragement. It's very refreshing."

"T-thank you. Thanks."

At this point Matsuda's head was spinning so much, that he didn't even notice the sinister smirk on his idol's face.


	2. Criticism

After that one night, Matsuda took to staying late more often. He made excuses to double and triple check files, record the news and copy police reports. His renewed efforts gained him much appreciation within the team, and even Mogi clapped him on the shoulder with respect. He had to admit, the attention was nice; it made him puff out his chest a little as he walked around the building: hold his head up a little higher.

However, though he may have been able to convince the others of his newly discovered dedication, he couldn't fool himself. He knew why he was really hanging back till 10 at night.

Light sat across the room at his desk, scribbling words into his report book. In the dim evening light, the sunset's rays drifted through the window and cast a golden glow around his bowed head. Amber shadows and light played across the stands of hair and Matsuda couldn't help thinking that the young man looked like an angel, sent down from heaven to cleanse the world of evil. Kira was evil, and together the task force was a pure power, with Light at it's centre.

Matsuda discovered that he actually liked working hard, if it meant he got to glimpse the look of gratitude on Light's tired face after a long shift. He appreciated the compliments too, which were not frequent, but not uncommon either.

"Thanks, Matsuda." Light would say, or:

"You've been a real help tonight, I would have been here till twelve if it wasn't for you."

Sometimes, Matsuda liked to imagine that their brief conversations would progress. That maybe they'd catch the same train one day, and talk about something that wasn't murder, and Light would smile.

When he was in school, he'd read an English text about a girl called Juliet and her lover Romeo. There was some lines he remembered:

'It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,'

He never got it back then. What did it mean, Juliet was a ball of gas in the sky? But he understood now, for if there were any way to compare the moment when Light would smile, it would be to compare it to seeing the brilliant sun; just as bright and blinding, and just as burning to stare at. Matsuda would always turn away.

Ah, but he was moping again: not getting any work done. He should have been an poet, he thought.

He tapped his pen against the edge of the desk in boredom.

Matsuda's apartment was a little pokey, with only three small rooms- including the bathroom. He would have loved to own a bigger place, which he could invite friends over to, or have a flat share, but he couldn't afford much: it didn't seem like anyone wanted to fund the fight against Kira anymore.

After brushing his teeth and a quick bowl of cereal, he shrugged on his suit and tie and headed off to catch his train. Walking along the city pavements he always liked to watch the young school children hurry about, with their rucksacks and pens, with a twinge of nostalgia. It hadn't been so long since he'd been one of them himself, but it felt like they were worlds apart.

Wait.

Was that Light?

"Hey! Light! Good morning!"

The other man turned from where he'd been inspecting the bus times. His expression was convulsed with shock for a moment, shoulders tense, but then he relaxed into an easy position. He was probably surprised to bump into his colleague this early.

"Matsuda. Good morning."

"Fancy seeing you here, Light! I always take the train here, cheaper than the buses you know? But I've never seen you around before? Are you catching the same one?" Matsuda babbled. He felt flustered. "Mine comes on ten minutes- I'm a bit early, ha."

"Do you often make a habit of projecting personal details in public, Matsuda?" Snapped Light suddenly.

Shoot! In his excitement and embarrassment he'd completely screwed up rule number one.

"No! I- ah! I'm sorry, I forgot... " Matsuda mumbled. God, he wished he wasn't so awkward.

"Yes," Agreed Light, "And not for the first time either. Be more careful."

They did end up catching the train together, just like Matsuda imagined, except... not. Because in the stony silence, as if it was a repeat of earlier with the students, they'd never been further apart.


End file.
